Ups & Downs

A couple weeks ago I got to do something that I haven't been able to do in a long time. I got to wear jeans. My momma took me shopping for my birthday, because I think she's even tired of my constant gym clothes attire. I thought "Why not? Just try them on" when I saw a pair of jeans. Pants have always been hard for me. I have larger hips and quite the butt, then I'm also short. I gave up on being "trendy" in any sense of the word in my teens. I had jeans, but they were the elastic waist "mom" jeans. My sister-in-law even joked about getting me pajama jeans..She would never do that. No hate mail please.

I stepped into the dressing room with a couple different cuts and sizes and tired them on. First was a strike, they were about 8 inches too long and were so wide they looked like a skirt. Second pair, were these (in the photo). I stood in the window and teared up a bit. They had a zipper and buttons. The length was perfect. Needless to say, I bought two pairs.  I got to wear them out, and it's nice to wear clothes that everyone else wears and takes for granted. I felt pretty for the first time in a long time. Not the ego matters, but it does get me out of the house.

Then yesterday, this happened.

My trainer at HotBox is pretty hardcore. At the strength class last night, the TRX was part of the circuit. That's not out of the ordinary. I'm usually pretty good at it too, expect when it involves putting my feet in the handles. I don't have the confidence yet. I wind up spending the 5 minutes at that station being frustrated and wanting to set the TRX on fire. However, each time I get better. Last night, I had to try the TRX burpie. I got about 3 of them..Then on round 2, I fell straight down. No one saw, other than my trainer. I'm not embarrassed that I fell. I fall frequently, it's nothing new. I was more so frustrated that I couldn't do it. I have unrealistic expectations of myself. I feel like I should get things right on the first go. Which is dumb. No one can do that. I, however, felt as though I should. So I cried the rest of the time during class and until I pulled into the driveway at my house. My trainer kept asking if I was okay, thinking maybe I was hurt. Just my ego. It was really bruised.

Today is a new day and I need to learn not to be so hard on myself. Everything will be okay. And I will not be defeated by the TRX.

Birthday Gift

In 6 days, I'll be turning 30. I've had about 2-3 breakdowns about it, but for now I'm okay. Things are looking up.

About a month ago, I also lost my job. Instead of being crazy depressed and eating myself to happy, I hit the gym harder. I figured why not kill time between job searching and future planning than by working out? So I did, putting in 2 (or sometimes) 3 a days, really changing up my diet (yet again, nothing crazy, just mixing it up) and this morning I found out that all of this work is beginning to pay off.

Seven years ago, this number above with 73.26%. I saved that number. I remember getting it and just crying like crazy. My body, the scale and the mirror told me I was fat, and now I had yet another number to prove it.  Now, I'm down to 31%, which is within NORMAL range. That is pretty much the only thing about me that is normal. Seeing that number made me the happiest I had been in quite a while. Despite everything that could cause an emotional eater to binge, I can see that staying away from that has really paid off. I don't need to binge, because I worked too hard to get to here. While my body, scale and sometime myself, tell me that I'm fat; I can see that I'm healthy, strong and I don't have that much further to go. 

You just have to keep going. 

Determination=Results

Even though, over the last eight months, I haven't lost a ton of weight...or as much as I've wanted to, I can see the results.

(65ish pounds down (since January) and about 20 inches in 8 months)

I've been on a weight-loss journey for for seven years now. So far I've lost 165ish pounds. Which is a pretty great number for me, coming down from over 400 pounds has been quite a struggle. I battle daily with the fact that I haven't reached my goal weight in the 7 years. Any of you who have struggled yourself with weight loss, you know what I'm talking about.

I'm not one to dwell on negatives and focus on what I've learned.

1) I have to eat to live, not live to eat. You need food to survive, to live, but I don't need it when I'm sad/mad/happy/breathing/bored/celebrating/etc. I haven't turned to food as a friend in a couple years. It doesn't make up for the fact that I did for a long time. Food was there whenever I needed it to be. Now, I look at food to fuel my body. It's a hard realize that sometimes. I've come by some great coaches and friends that have helped me learn this. I've been doing the paleo diet for six weeks now. I was strict for a month. I'm going to stick with it, I'm allowing myself rice occasionally and yogurt once a day. Mostly to switch things up.

2) Exercise is super important and my body feels weird without it. I started doing Muay Thai in 2006 under Eric Haycraft (www.realfightersgym.com). BEST DECISION EVER MADE. I learned discipline, I gained a family. I learned that I'm tough, I'm strong, and that I am an athlete. I'm a fighter. I wasn't allowed to give up, I had to try every task before me. I learned to jump rope. I learned to depend on others and reach out. Moving to Nashville was hard, because I had to leave that gym and my coach. Now at HotBox (www.hb4.me), I have learned a lot of the same things. It's a different game. I've improved on my skills, power and speed. I've gained a lot of strength from circuit training classes and flexibility in yoga.

3) You can't lose weight alone. This is not a journey taken by yourself. People help you along the way. I am fiercely independent. I don't ask for help, I throw fits when people buy my drink/meal/etc, even if the tasks takes me longer without help, I'd rather do it myself. In this journey, I have learned that I have to put my hand out sometimes and ask for help. I have to have my trainer get in my face and yell at me to keep going. I need the people on my team.

Thank you, readers, for being a part of this journey too. What's next? Well, I'm going to continue down this path. I have a bit more to go. I'm focusing on getting stronger, leaner. I'm not focused as much on a number anymore. More on how my body feels.

Good luck.

-Amos

So Easy A Caveman Can Do It

Somehow, one of my kickboxing instructors talked me into doing the Paleo Diet. I had recently come to a plateau...and I was really bitter about it. So I cut back on food, my first (what I thought was logical) decision. I was eating at least 1200 calories a day, but that wasn't sufficient enough for the amount of working out I do a day.

This is definitely a growing experience, weight loss. I don't know a ton about nutrition, I know what's bad and what's good. I've been vegan, vegetarian, I'm gluten free. I've done Weight Watchers, I've been all over the map. I'm a southerner and everything is about food.

So I gave this diet a shot. What do I have to lose? Right? The first couple weeks have been hard. I have had a couple Diet Cokes, a few grains here and there, but not daily. Spending my lunch break today figuring out recipes, because I haven't cooked meat in a very long time. I haven't had red meat since my teenage years (minus my a burger at In and Out when I was in LA).

I'll keep you posted on results and how I feel. Today, the one thing I miss is peanut butter. I really miss peanut butter.

Trust The Process

Each time I take one of these, I feel better. Anyone who struggles with weight understands the up and down of the journey. I haven't been losing a ton of weight recently, I tried a lot of the summer (because I wasn't working) to focus directly on my gym time and my food. I was pulling three-a-days at the gym and cutting back a lot on my calories. It didn't feel like it was working. Once I got a job, I felt like everything stopped. Maybe it was the stress of a new job, maybe it's because I'm super hard on myself, who knows. I don't know how much I've lost because I don't have a scale, but looking at this and measuring myself this morning, I feel like some changes are happening.

The weight loss journey, I believe, occurs in three parts. One being exercise. I know I have written a lot about being active, I don't know how to be more obvious about it. Find something you can stick to, find something you love and start doing it all the time. I get a lot of "you're crazy" when I tell them how often I exercise; I'm not crazy. I love kickboxing, I'm actually pretty good at it. When I plan out my week, I plan a lot of my life around gym time. No, I'm not cutting off friends to get gym time in, however most of my friends know what I do and accept that most of my time goes to kickboxing. I also feel so much better. I feel stronger, everyday. 

The second, and really equal with the first part, is food. Food is my biggest struggle. Not that I overeat, or eat junk food...I tend to under-eat. I have been struggling for a while to learn what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat. It's a daily/weekly process. Luckily, trainers at the gym have been checking my food log, and checking in to make sure that I'm eating enough and the right things. I try to make as much of my food as I can. Like the food gummies above, I made those myself. All fresh ingredients, all things I could pronounce. I'm learning to eat to live and not live to eat. It's a process and a really frustrating one at that. I'll let you know if I come up with any tricks, but all I've found that works right now if someone to keep me accountable and Pinterest for recipes. 

(Best breakfast!! Steel cut oats, blueberries, bananas and some applesauce and protein powder)

Last but not least, having a community to keep you going. 

I enjoy going to the gym (I don't have photos of anyone..sorry, just use your imagination) because I love the community I have there. Even with the people I don't see all the time, or don't know very well, we are best friends for a hour of class. When you can look at the person at the next bag or holding the pads and they know exactly how out of breath you are and how tired you are, but they make you keep going...nothing is better than that. 

(John Wayne Parr from a seminar at Real Fighters Gym. A legend and amazing teacher. We don't train together on a regular basis...I just wanted to post this. I mean, it's JWP.)

(My favorite coach of all time, Eric Haycraft. Eric was the first coach I ever had that treated me like everyone else. I was expected to work, and work just as hard, as any other fighter in the gym. There are some training sessions that I am amazed that I survived, but I always did. I know he believes in me, even though I'm in another city and at another gym.)

There's going to be some bumps along the way, but that helps make all the high points worth it. This journey feels like it's been incredibly long and tiring. I know when I look back on this, it will seem like a blink. 

Good luck to yall. 

Exercise: Does More Than Burn Calories

My supervisor from work sent this in an email to me a couple days ago. The nature of our job is pretty stressful, and she will send emails like this to help us separate work from life. I thought our readers would benefit from reading this too. Enjoy.

-Amos

Exercise: Improve Your Mood and Help Repair the Effects of Stress

By Karyn Hall, PhD

Emotionally sensitive people are often advised to exercise to calm
their anxiety or to help overcome depression. Grandmothers,
psychiatrists, friends and even strangers often suggest, “Exercise.
You’ll feel better.”


In our recent survey, 71.4% of the emotionally sensitive have found
exercise helpful in managing their mood. Turns out the research, as
reported by John Ratey, MD in his book Spark, shows exercise has a
strong effect on mood as well as other important functions of the
brain.


Exercise is effective in treating anxiety and panic.  Getting active
provides a distraction, reduces muscle tension, builds brain resources
(increases and balances serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine, all
important neurotransmitters involved in mood), improves resilience by
showing you that you can be effective in controlling anxiety, and
breaks the feeling of being trapped and immobilized.
The effects can be equal or even better than medication. The problem
is that when people are upset or depressed, they don’t want to
exercise.


Establishing a regular exercise program, one that you could maintain
when your mood was unpleasant, may be part of the answer. Continuing a
routine when you are emotionally dysregulated is easier than starting
a new activity.  Regular exercise would also help prevent relapse.
In addition to helping regulate your mood, exercise offers other
advantages that make it well worth the time invested. Only recently
are scientists realizing how extensive the effects of exercise truly
are.


Exercise improves the ability to learn. When you are working on
learning new coping skills, new ways of responding, the ability to
take in information is obviously important. Dr. Ratey describes an
American high school whose students participated in a physical fitness
program. They finished first in the world on science and sixth on an
international test to compare science and math abilities.  As a whole,
US students ranked 18th in science and 19th in math.
Studies have shown that better fitness means improved attention and
improved ability to adjust their cognitive performance following a
mistake.


How does that happen? Exercise reportedly spurs the development of new
nerve cells from stem cells in the hippocampus. Perhaps most
importantly, exercise is believed to increase BDNF (brain-derived
neurotrophic factor), the master molecule of the learning process. Low
levels of BDNF are associated with depression.
Exercise increases cognitive flexibility. Ratey defines cognitive
flexibility as being able to shift your thiking and to be creative.
Cognitive flexibility would be to apply new strategies to solve
problems and use information in creative ways rather than rote
memorization of facts. Memorizing coping skills may will not be as
helpful as being able to able the information in different situations.
Exercise helps relieve and repair the effects of stress on the body.
When stressed, the body releases cortisol. Ratey notes that high
levels of cortisol make it difficult for the prefrontal cortex to
direct the hippocampus to compare memories, like to determine that a
stick is not a snake. Thus when cortisol is high it’s difficult to
decide what is a threat and what isn’t a threat, so just about
everything seems scary. You can’t think clearly.


In addition, high levels of cortisol kill neurons in the hippocampus
(where memories are stored), causing a communication breakdown. This
result could partially explain why people get locked into negative
thoughts–the hippocampus keeps recycling a negative memory.
Stress overload also creates more connections in the amygdala. The
more the amgydala fires the stronger the stress and the sooner the
stress becomes generalized, as if everything is a stressor.
Exercise helps prevent the damaging effects of stress and can reverse
damage that has been done. Exercise protects neurons against cortisol
in the areas that control mood, including the hippocampus and in that
way helps prevent relapse and evens out up and down moods.
All with very few side effects.

Reference
Ratey, J.( 2008).  Spark. New York:  Little, Brown and Company.

Milestones

Today is a day for celebrating. It's my 5 year anniversary of Muay Thai. I know that might be a weird thing to celebrate, but this has been such a journey for me. Through fights about bruises, crying on the mat because I was frustrated, and gaining friendships with people I may have never met.

It's been crazy addictive,  I miss it when I'm on vacation and look forward to it at the end of everyday. I'm feeling stronger now than I ever have before. I hope you readers find something like this for you. Something that changes how you feel about being active, that's fun for you. 

Here's the photo update for this month. As my mom says, I have "less shack in the back"...or 'junk in the trunk'. I've been pulling 2-a-days at HotBox for almost a month, and getting in almost all of the 2.0 classes. I haven't been running, and I need to add that back in. Last week, I didn't take care of myself as I should and ended up sick on Saturday and Sunday. I was really dehydrated and skipped a lot of meals. I am not stressing as much about my food intake and trying to listen to my body. Even though, I didn't listen close last week. Today I had 64 oz of water prior to working out and 32 oz afterwards. I feel much better today. 

Happy Monday everyone!! 

SIx One Way, Half Dozen of Another.

There's good news and bad news...of maybe discouraging news..

The Good News: Here I am after six weeks. That's monitoring EVERYTHING that goes into my body. A month long detox, basically vegan, diet. I feel a lot better. My energy is way up and my sleep is a lot better. I've taken some time off being so strict with my food. Don't worry, I'm not going crazy. I'm starting a carb cycling method diet, that a friend of mine does. Again, for another month to see how I feel. 

The Discouraging News: I've been using "My Fitness Pal" app on my phone to keep track of my calories in and calories out. Everyday, it has told me that I'm not eating enough and I'm going to go into starvation mode. I'm terrified to put more calories in my body. I know the right things to eat. I'm just struggling with putting more food in my body. Basically, this entry is a cry for help. I need to know how to balance all the activity I do, but also get the right nutrition. 

I am losing weight, inches, gaining muscle. I didn't realize how much my activity effected my weight loss in this way. So, readers, you have some advice to give....I need it. 

Mr./Mrs. Know It All

Sometimes, I think I know everything.  Sometimes, I think I can do anything.

All of the time, I eventually realize how mistaken I am :-) I know I'm not the only one.  Someone out there knows what I mean!

Does that sound discouraging? Is that bad?  Most of the time, people would say yes, but let me propose something to you: we don't know everything and we can't do anything we want.  It's no grand revelation, but we need to start at this sobering beginning before we can realize what we are really made of.

First, we can't do everything we want. We eventually realize that we can't just do everything, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't try. I'm constantly telling Amy how I could never be a fighter, because its not in me. It really isn't in me :-) but I shouldn't just dismiss the possibility if I haven't given it a go.

This leads me to my second point: I do not know everything. Think of how many times you will say in a day "I know that I don't like __", or "I know I look terrible in __."

How do we really know if we don't try?!  We are all about trying here at Sift Happens.  You try something new. Maybe you'll fall and get scraped up. The real test, and what Amy and I want for all of you, is to be able to pick yourself up afterwards.  We need to believe in ourselves enough to want to try new things. Only then will we become secure enough to accept our failures gracefully.

So, with all of this talk about trying and being ok with failure, I guess I should pony up some secrets of my own :-)

I love cooking. I find great satisfaction in making something from scratch, with ingredients that I have the control over. So basically, I bake a lot. I'll try anything. So one day, I decided to tackle meringues. I figured, how hard can this be - I can make meringue! It's basically meringue in a cookie form. I did everything I was supposed to. I followed the recipe to a T. I burnt the heck out of those little cookies. If you enjoy the usually sweet and airy morsel of meringue, mine were flat, burnt, and so tragic looking. But initially, they looked good! They had potential :-) What's most important, is that I tried, and failed, but I will absolutely try again! Have a great weekend friends. --Rita

Let's Have a Journey Moment

Rita and I are all about being honest here. I'm not much for vulnerability, even though I'm a therapist by trade, but I want you to know that I am sharing this journey with you. It's frustrating and a lot of hard work, but it's incredibly worth it in the end. 

I took this photo February 10, 2012. I had started doing more back to back classes and following points to the T. I decided that I would take photos monthly to document the progress of this year. 

I've been working out a lot more. Doing back to back classes at HotBox everyday and taking the stairs at work , watching all my food intake, basically busting my tail to make 2012 the year I got healthy. I don't know what's come over me, but I'm taking advantage of this extra steam.

I took this photo this morning. I cannot tell much of a difference in frontal view, minus more definition in my waist. I can tell a big difference in the side view. All the ab work must be working. I’ve lost 9 total pounds. I’ve lost about 3 inches in my hips, 1 inch in my waist, and 2 inches in my chest. I can’t believe I can already tell a difference. 

Starting tomorrow, Terri (my best that I mentioned) and I are eating vegan for 21 days. That’s the detox I was talking about. I’m excited to get started. I bought all my groceries today, spent less on food this week than I normally do and all at Whole Foods. I’ll let you know how the first week goes. Honestly, I'm excited about it. I really want to be more conscious of my body and what I'm putting in it and also experiment a little bit more. I'll keep you updated. 

Until next time.  Have a great week!

So This Is the New Year.

Every year we make resolutions; we hope for a better year than the last.

I think we want more for ourselves. I don't think we go into resolutions with the reality that we may or may not follow through. I truly believe that we practice this tradition because we really want to be a better "us" this next time around.

But do we keep our promises to ourselves? Today I was going to post a recipe, with cool pictures, nutrition facts, etc. But I really felt it pressed upon me to really drive home this point before we begin: the new year, or your failed resolutions are no reason to give up on working towards becoming the person you want to be. So what if you ate chips, or haven't started working out yet. You want to quit smoking but you keep failing, or you just wish that guy you like would notice you....we get that here, at Sift Happens.

So please, come along for the ride. We want to share our stories, tips, and tragedies with you. And we want you, to share with us.

Remember this: if no one else believes you can do it, we do!

--Rita

Q & A with Jamie Bryant of HotBox Fitness in Nashville

I had this next guy on my list of people to interview when Rita and I decided to add the interview section on the blog. Most of you have heard me mention HotBox in my entries and it’s the best workout I’ve found in Nashville. It’s close enough to my Muay Thai workout that I’m used to that I’m comfortable, and tough enough that I feel like I’ve worked out. I leave sweaty and gross and that makes me feel like I’ve worked. 

Jamie is one of my favorite people I’ve ever trained with. He’s funny and personable, but makes sure that we work in every class and that we improve technique every time. This interview is a couple weeks in the making, schedule conflicts, the Predators 5K, we were finally able to sit down on Wednesday night and chat for a few minutes before my 6:40 class. 

Amos: What’s the story/philosophy behind Hotbox? How did it get started? 

Jamie: There was something that happened in the Nashville MMA community called, the Divorce. There was a major divide between the two people and the rest of us feel on either side. Afterwards, a bunch of us didn’t have a place to work out so we started Tennessee BJJ Academy in Spring Hill. It’s really easy to run, sign, mats on the floor...good to go. 

I got the idea for HotBox when I was taking my girlfriend, Anastacia, with me to class because she wanted to get in shape for summer. I noticed that she toned up, felt empowered, but there was something missing. Kickboxing to make girls hot, empowered and get them in shape. 

I was talking to a friend, and I was living across the street from where we are now. And I pitched my idea, I told him how much money I needed for it. He came back like later with a 1/3 of what I needed. I came here (we’re at FIT Nashville by the way) rented the front room, came back to my friend and said I needed money for mats and bags. I drew up some contracts got 20 of my friends to sign up. April 1, 2010 at 9am, we had our first class. 

We’ve been growing ever since. Sarah, one of the instructors, has been here since the first day. Never worked out a day in her life, now she’s hooked. We started out upstairs, 8 bags, in three months we were in a new space and at 108 members. In three more months, we had 300 members and into a bigger space. Now we’re getting the smaller room back to run more evening classes. 

Amos: What are some of the biggest struggles that you feel your clients face? How do you hope to help them overcome that?

Jamie: That’s a really interesting question. I think we’re an answer to a question they don’t know how to ask. We’re more than just a workout. We provide a comfortable environment, we don’t do a lot of advertising. We want our clients to feel empowered. We hope that it provides them a chance to prove themselves wrong. This isn’t about quick fixes. It’s about work and being determined. 

Amos: Being in resolution season, what are your thoughts on fad diet and quick fixes?

Jamie: I hate them. They aren’t real life. You need consistency to get results. There all of these gimmicks out there to help people “lose weight”, but they’re money making schemes. Spokespeople, celebrities who try it, doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Yes, you’re going to lose weight because you’re only taking in 600-800 calories a day. You look malnourished, there’s nothing sexy or attractive about it. Able is so much sexier than small. Strong is hot. Able is sexy. Be bruised, show them that you’ve worked. That’s more sexy than anything. 

Amos: What’s your advice for people who are just beginning a healthy lifestyle change? 

Jamie: Take it slow and don’t get discouraged. Be consistent and only weigh every 3-4 weeks. You’ll see it before you will see it. Just keep working. 

Amos: Any closing comments, concerns, words of wisdom?

Jamie: Personal/Physical, anything and everything is possible. Your body will tell you know, but your mind can do it. It just all takes time. Also, don’t think yourself sick. Just keep trying and working, eventually you will get there. 

This is the best workout I've found in Nashville. Tons of new classes are opening up soon, especially more of the 2.0 classes. Jamie is all over the place, knowledgeable, helpful and incredibly encouraging. If you're ever in the Nashville area, check them out. You'll be hooked. I'm still recovering from back to back classes last night, but definitely considering doing back to back again tonight. 

Get to sweating. 

Something New

I'm a little late in the game with the resolutions/goals of 2012. I wrote some late in January, and I allowed my busy schedule to get in the way.

Well, that's all about to change. I got a new job and I start next week. The beauty of this new job is my schedule. 7a-3p, M-F, school calendar. Do you know how beautiful that sounds? Glorious, I tell you.

With this change, I'm going to overhaul how I eat, think about food and my fitness. Most of you don't really know my story. I was a heavy teen and turned into a fat adult. In college I started to lose weight and ended up losing 180 pounds by the time I was 25. Then I went to graduate school, moved to Nashville and put on 30. It's been a combination of not paying attention to what I was eating, drinking (not that I was a lush, but I didn't drink very often) and my insane schedule. Even though, I feel like I'm stronger, I'm fatter.

I have completed two mini-marathons. I'm taking this year off. I'm going to get new running shoes (that I've had $$ for since my birthday, but haven't had time to buy) and work on my pace and endurance. I'm going to do a few 5ks and 10ks starting this summer and get back on the marathon train in 2013. I have completely booked myself at Hotbox and doing other YMCA classes after work is over. They are already in my calendar, so I can't back out.

I'm going to overhaul my diet. Look at food as nourishment and not my friend and social event. I'm going back on minimal dairy and lowering my gluten intake. I haven't watched that since Christmas and I can tell by how I feel. I'm not sleeping as well and I am sluggish.

I'm going to be taking you on this adventure with me. Updating you weekly as I weigh in, measure myself and keep you updated on how I feel.

Here goes everything!

-Amos

Soapbox

I don’t know quite what to say about this ad. Yes, I agree that obesity is a growing problem in the USA, however with the speeding descent of female self-image, there is a better way to encourage better lifestyle choices.

I want to know the research group that thought this was a good idea. Being a therapist by day, I read a lot of studies and articles about the dangers of female self-image and the increasing numbers of girls who battle eating disorders. Did these people not see the same article? 

Women are projected in media very differently than men. I will not get on my feminist soapbox, but we all know that the previous is true. There are much better ways to encourage girls (and boys too, but this ad is clearly targeted at girls) to be healthy and active without making them feel less. 

First, I suggest we, as a nation, support and advocate for better school lunches, encourage them to be active, and also let people know that healthy minds equal healthy bodies. 

I was not a heavy kid. I was always “bigger”, but I was tall. Once adolescences hit, I didn’t grow anymore and I started to gain weight. I think what we forget, is that we associate being overweight with an inability to do almost anything. 

This blog was started by girls, like the one in the ad. Just like her, we have a story. Never discount someone because of the body they have, give them a chance and you’ll be surprised. 

Everything I know, I learned in Kickboxing.

I started kickboxing about four years ago. I watched "Million Dollar Baby" with my best friend and decided that's what I was going to do. I had been very serious at that time about my fitness and health, but wanted something different. I went to a gym my friend, Bryan, had been going to and joined on the spot. 

My coach, Eric, is probably the best coach I've ever had in my life. The lessons I learned in the ring in his gym have carried into my day-to-day life.

1) My body can do anything, I am enough.

I have never had the self-esteem that I should. I don't often believe I can do something because of my weight, height, being a woman, etc. In the gym, everyone is the same. You body and your mind can get through whatever you tell it to. Don't believe the voice inside you that says you can't. It's lying, it's not even your voice. Outside the gym is the same. You are enough. You can do whatever you set your mind to do. Find the best, learn from them and work your bum off. 

2) Nothing comes easy, you have to work. 

I didn't get "good" at kickboxing, or considered part of Team Haycraft without putting in hours upon hours of work. Everyday, twice a day, watching what I ate, watching other fights, run before and after workouts. Nothing comes easy. You have to work. You'll earn your ranks, you'll earn respect. All of that comes with work. 

3). Work is hard. Growing hurts.

Going into a fight gym can be intimidating. Going into anything in life can be scary. It takes a lot of growing and trust. Sometimes I had to fake it until I got there. To get anywhere you have to grow, and it's painful. I remember the first horrible bruise I got at the gym. I got it from Eric. It hurt so bad, but I didn't give up. You can't give up when it hurts. The pain will cease, eventually.

4.) There will always be an obstacle. 

Let's face it, my weight has always held me back in life and in the gym. Everything from relationships to stepping into the ring, I hide behind it. Not afraid really of what would happen, more so afraid to fail. Learning all of the ends and outs of kickboxing is daunting. Sparring is hard and frustrating at times. There's always something to overcome, whether it be your confidence or your strength, or your inexperience. 

5) You will fail. Brush it off and learn from it. 

My team has seen it's fair share of failure. Lost titles, bad sparring days, struggles with making weight, all of it. It's okay to fail, really it's okay. You are not defined by the failures in your life, you are defined by what you've done in spite of failing. Yes, I have fallen on my face, or been hit in the face. Several times. You can't live in the failure, or you'll never see success. If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. Get up and move on. 

There's tons more, lots of little and BIG lessons in my four years. It has shaped who I am today and how I face everything in my life. I'm approaching 30, making a lot of changes in my life and holding these truths I've learned close. Especially as I punch and kick my way to goal weight and life goals.